My Double Lung Transplant

Friday, January 22, 2010

In this moment, nothing else matters

"how does it feel/ to be/different from me/are we the same/how does it feel?"
~ How Does it Feel
- Avril Lavigne

Tonight
I laid in bed
And nothing else mattered
Because I am alive
I opened the drawer beside my bed and pulled out my stethoscope
And listened
To all that i've been given
Safely enclosed inside my chest
Behind a tiny wire
Behind a long, clamshell line
Surrounding my heart
Two beautiful creatures
Kindly entrusted to me
In my care
Forever
Life
Given and received
Taken with thanks
Celebrated in all aspects

So i listened
Inflate
Deflate
Inflate
Pause
Not a sound
Not a crackle, or wrinkle
Not a wheeze or a pop
Nothing sloshing or gushing
Silence
Beautiful silence

Where once i could not blow out a candle
I can now run down the street
Where i once could not laugh in the slightest
I laugh long and hard
Even though no sound comes out
Through the casing of my stethoscope
Can i hear my life
Can i see it rise and fall beneath my eyes
Fragile, yet strong
Clear
From the bottom to the top and all around
Sounding like parchment paper, so thin, yet two little warriors
Keeping me going
Keeping me breathing
All thanks to the kindness of another whom I do not know
And never will

It is strange to me that these wonders were not born with me
We were not made together
But manufactured apart
Yet somehow, someway
Our lives became one
And you saved me
And will continue to do so

So tonight
When the world may seem scary
And material things uncertain
I listen through my stethoscope
And remind myself
In this moment
Nothing else matters

4 comments:

Alice said...

wow that's BEAUTIFUL! Can I use it (with copyright!) on my blog??

Amy said...

LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!

Bree said...

yes you may!!

Alice said...

Awesome, thanks!