I went to the bar last night with some friends.
I didn't get home till 2am and woke up for some stupid reason at 5am because I felt compelled to re-read my donor letter.
Why? I don't know. But i'm glad I did, because I made a discovery that has thoroughly woken me up.
I've mentioned that my donor's favourite sport was cross-country skiing, and that I will be taking it up this winter to honour him. But it's more than that: I'm not just doing it as a means to pay hommage to him; I'm doing it because I have this unexplainable desire to do so. I can't explain it, but I have this urge - this hunger - for winter to come so I can strap some skiis on and feel life flowing through me. The other day I was googling Blue Mountain, which is a ski resort here in Ontario. I even was looking up winter backgrounds for my computer that had to do with people skiing because I simply cannot wait for winter to arrive. I've got my snowpants, my jacket, all the good stuff, and now all I have to do is wait.
And then I read this:
"At his memorial one of the eulogists commented that she was sure that somewhere in about November, some person would wake up and have a tremendous urge to hit the ski trails"
You know how you can long for someone? How it pulls at your heart and you sit around and wait for them and can't really think of much else? And then when you do think of them you get excited? That's how I feel about cross-country skiing. Which is strange, because I feel like I've been skiing forever even though I havent. I long to hit the ski trails the way I long for hot summer nights in the middle of January.