You slap me in the face at the worst of times.
You scare me when you creep up on me and remind me that it is time to remove myself from my sick little bubble that has kept me safe for these past 2 years and finally emerse myself into this world called 'life'. While it was not the most fun thing I could have ever done, you did have perks: worries were small; things were taken day to day; my days were governed and planned by how i felt and how much energy i had; i wore sweatpants all the time; i didn't need to worry about going out and finding a job or being back at school; i had no commitment to anything.
And now...I'm 5 months out, and while no one forced me to enroll back in school, i've got 1 online course that i'm doing and already feeling stress for; i want to start applying for jobs so i can get work and make up some much-needed money, maybe finally graduate in the spring(?), work a lot in the summer (which will be fine b/c i won't have academic commitments then - weeeeee!)...and maybe apply to a college to go through for counceling? We'll see...
So yea. I've been a ball of stress trying to make my way through this crazy jungle called 'what the fuck do i do now, life?' phase. It's scary when it just shows up unannounced. I no longer feel safe and protected by having the leisure of saying 'i'm a student', because honestly, i'm way past being a student, i want to be out there and doing a normal job...or at least something more focused rather than an undergrad.
One. Thing. At. A . Time.
Life. You're here; but why must you be so scary!?