My Double Lung Transplant

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Some shit...

This entry doesn't come from the happiest point of view....contrary to the post that preceeds it. I mean i'm happy but i'm annoyed and frustrated, blah.

I'll start with the happy news: since Monday i've been having my 3 months assessment! Monday was the busiest day for: bloods, xray, CT, PFTs, clinic. Tues saw the gastric emptying test, where I had the fortune of consuming a fried egg saturated in radioactive goo and 2 peices of toast, with an added toxic topping of transplant medication to the mix. And today - the final day - saw my 3 months bronchoscopy, which I hope in all honesty, yeilds no rejection or infection!

So far things are good, tho there was some confusion over some cyclosporin levels. Also, the thing that i'm pissed off about, is that bloody gastric emptying test has shown yet again complete and utter failure of my stomach.

Let me break it down for you: you come in at 9am and eat ur radioactive egg. You get an xray. You're told to fuck off and come back in an hour for another xray. Then you fuck off for another hour and come back for another xray, to see how your radioactive friend is moving along. If all is well - meaning the egg has made the journey from stomach to intestine safetly- you're free to go and your stomach is awesome. If you're stomach is a complete tool - like mine apparently - you must come back in 2 hours to see if things have moved along.

In my case, they didn't. They merely crawled along. After 1 hour i still had 90% of the stuff in my stomach. After 2 there was 60%, and after 4 i had 10% left. To be fair, the breakfast they gave me was significantly larger than what i usually have, and all i did was sit on my ass for the whole time literally staring at the sky while i thought the stuff was digesting (and i must state that the egg wasn't bad even though they left out the fun part, the yellow goo). I was asked if i felt full all the time. I kind of lied and said no, b/c it depends on what i eat. But basically, they do this test to see if you have reflux b/c that can cause you to asperate into your lungs which is very very bad.

After 4 boring hours i was released and sent to skip on my merry way home. I thought all was fine but allegedly it wasn't. The egg was still festering away in my stupid crippled stomach. I got a call from my tx co-ordinator today saying i had delayed gastric emptying and that I must go on another med to help things move along. I was pissed, though in retrospect I guess I shouldn't be. I won't lie when I confess i was pissed b/c I was worried that starting such medication would yeild terrifying results: fatness. Yup, I said it. But i've realized if things move along faster than just sitting like a dormant volcano in my stomach then it probably won't happen. So we'll see.

Todays bronch was well. No vomitting or hallucinations. I did have to put the bronch to a hault right before as i ran to the bathroom for an emergency pee. I felt bad for holding things up but my doc was happy to see me running. The unfortunate part came afterwards in recovery when I was placed between two men who had just had colonoscopies. I've never been near anyone after they had one but i learned that after one is done, the patient is encouraged to fart as much as possible. They must lay on their sides and force it out - big and strong - before they can go home So there I was, coughing up blood (it always happens) while these 2 men tried to fart as much as humanly possible. At one point, me still being mildy sedated and not being held accountable for my actions or words, the guy next to me let out the grossest, loudest, wettest fart in my direction that i had ever heard, that I spoke up and said to him, " You better check that you didn't shit yourself".

I didn't look at him when I said it, i merely stared wide-eyed at the ceiling in utter disgust, in hopes that any smell didn't waft in my direction. I just wanted to get out of there and not fall victim to fart fumes.

What else? I feel like i need to get shit together, like i'm extremely unorganized. Now that i'm done with pulm. rehab I need to work out more. Granted, this week it's been harder b/c of my 3 months assessment, but i'm not about to let myself melt into a blob of goo. Must join a gym and/or walk more.

I don't think there's anything else for me to bitch about. If there is, you'll hear about it.


Anonymous said...

You had my husband & I laughing to the point of tears about the fart story. :)

semperfiohana said...

i have to say i got quite a chuckle out of the fart story

Tammy Vaughan said...

Oh my God woman - I laughed so hard reading this post that I had more than a few people looking into my office to see what my problem was!!!