Thanks Acer, for being a total rockstar

I'm in a debate right now with Krystal as to whose laptop sucks more.

Lets examine the key features of both of ours.

Lets start with Yours Truely: Me and the Acer.

Acer Aspire - Key Features:

- 8 years old
- extremely slow
- takes 10 minutes to start up
- frequently freezes
- doesn't have MS Word anymore
- spacebar blinky thing jumps back 3-4 spaces sporadically when typing
- 100lbs
- can't read CDs
- randomly shuts off
- non-functioning battery
- heats up to temps that could potentially cause combustion
- a total peice of shit at times
- friendly and forgiving when smacked

Here is a picture of me: http://www.imageshare.web.id/images/lwiepf9ctdd9zr59l7zl.jpg

Krystal's Laptop - Key Features

- shrek green
- left on 99% of the time
- frequently needs to be taken in due to repeated influx of alien computer viruses
- missing the letters 'u', 'z', and 'c'
- has travelled to Iceland and back
- does not have a printer companion

*computer photo not available at the time*

So I ask you people, judging by the key features report stated above, whose computer trumps who when being a total peice of shit?