My Double Lung Transplant

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Waiting List Ettiquette

For all intent purposes, I go to TGH Weds with absolutely no intentions of befriending any new people. If they try to approach me i try to ward them off with mean vibes or cough horrendously to scare them away. I cannot be bothered by the majority of them. They are not my people. My people are my people - not new people. There are only some exceptions.

Usually i swoop in on my evil wings to TGH on Weds, eye the new people, shoot daggers, and ignore them one svelt swoop of me. Usually, this is enough to scare them away and make new patients trepidatious of approaching me, which suits me fine. I'm not there to socialize with new people; i'm there to sit in my chair, be catered to by the physio people, and blatently ignore the new people who don't have any friends yet.

Cruel. But sometimes necessary.

I don't have anything personal against these newbies - not really. What i don't like is that I can pick up vibes from them (and it's not just me i've had others say the same) that are slightly competetive.

There is a standard spewl of questions and statements that usually accompanies a new set of newbies. They are as follows:

"How long have you been listed/waiting?"
"How long did they tell you to expect to wait?"
"Ugh, I feel so terrible"
"Just stay positive" *insert smack-offable smile here*
"I'm so sick all the time. I'm constantly on antibitics." (congratulations, so am i)
"I have this, this, and this..."

and most recently:

"What's your lung size?" (wtf?!)

The list goes on an on, but i'll control myself and refrain from making anymore newbie statements b/c it will most likely send me back into my angry little mood that i was in earlier today. A mood which i just got out of.

So anywho, yeah. Newbie statments. I know they're made out of sincerety (sometimes) but I just hate that once the newbie swoops in on its shiney new branch, that's when the competetion starts. Sure, go ahead, ask your questions, but be aware that we are judging you and that we do know that you're asking these questions so you can size yourself up to us, and that you secretly beleive you will get done before us.

*feels all good karma dissipate*

So what i'm saying, is that with being listed, there's a form of ettiquet that comes with it. Ask your questions but be legitimately sincere about it, that's all. If you say it in a snarky voice, we will not like you and will avoid you at all costs. Don't off the bat ask how long we've been waiting and so forth b/c it's a turn off. Don't delcare to me how 'sick' you are, how many antibiotics you've been on, and blah blah, b/c i'm pretty sure i can trump you on that any day. But alas, I don't. I keep my big fat mouth closed and keep to my corner.

And now that i've blogged and bitched and moaned I feel better, and cleansed. And i realize that this is a frustration that i've carried over from yesterday, that's been deeply embedded in my brain and almost invisible. And i realize that when i get bored, i turn into a bitch, and i analyze and appolgize too much for being a spaz...and i start to hate stupid new spazes at rehab.

Can you hear that? I beleive it's the sound of Hell flaming up beneath my feet to come and collect me....

Well now that my brain has been purged of all it's spiteful thoughts, i'm going to try and come up with a Protestant form of repenting...Which i'm sure will fail in epic proportions...But...i feel happy nonetheless.


CysticCysterAmy said...

WTF? Lung size? All I can think of is actual size and couldn't you see that from looking at someone?!!???!?! Fruit cakes!!!

I will be sure to remember these rules when i am listed :)


Meghann "Queen of the O2 People" said...

Lung size? Thats SO obviously a newbie question. *rolls eyes* As if we could go into a Lungs R Us store and pick out a shiny new pair of lungs in Size S,M, or L to match our new puffy prednizone cheeks and beard we've grown. What a bunch of Morons!

Back off newbies! We were here first!!! *glares daggers*