My Double Lung Transplant

Monday, June 1, 2009

Squirrel Wars, my front porch, everyday from 3-4

Inititally, this entry was going to be called "Animal Discoveries", but the title i'm using sounds slightly more interesting and bonus points for everyone, it rhymes. We all end up happy in the end.

The other day i went to get the mail from the mail box, when i looked out the door window i was terrified to see a baby (or as i enjoy saying, 'bebe') squirrel latched to the bricks beside the mailbox. Said petite squirrel (or, 'that fucking little bastard' as my dad so fondly refered to him as) proceeded to jimmy up and down the length of that section of house for 45 minutes in search of whatever it was he was looking for. Bad news for my dad when i told him; 45 minutes of enjoyment for me when he didn't know.

Today, I was playing the piano when i received a terrifying fright. A mysterious shape loomed at the window - whose blind was down. Actually, it wasn't looming 'at' the window but rather, on the window. Quickly and stealthly, like .. something sleek and stealth - i sneaked up to the window, opened the blind, and brought it up. And what to my wandering eye should appear, but a little bebe squirrel latched on to the screen! At the sight of me he leapt off and onto the bricks, then onto the posts on the veranda.

I decided to name him Melvin.

As i realized that 'Melvin' was a great name for a squirrel, i stared intently at his cute little baby squirrel self. I wanted to cuddle him, and feed him cat food, but realized it was probably a bad idea since Melvin is rabid and most likely infested with fleas and other things. And as i was pondering such things I got another fright. A second bebe squirrel leapt up onto the window from underneath the ledge. This one, slightly bigger than Melvin, and grey. This grey squirrel - whom i've named Harris - stayed on the window ledge and stared back at me with his beady little black eyes. Harris turned out to be bolder than Melvin. Melvin decided to keep his distance and stayed on the veranda spokes. I, in the meantime, snatched my camera and got 15 photos of them.

Fuck my life.

In other animal discovery news, Zoey discovered that my concentrator has a humidifier on the front, and racked her brain over it on Sunday morning. She sat up on her back legs, big fat naked pot belly spilling over her back feet and providing a safe landing cushion for her -should she at some point fall over due an uneven distribution of weight - and watched in terror and awe as buddles repeatedly formed in the little bottle.

And that's really the extent of the excitement of my life at the moment.

Still waiting, still in pain, still feel shitty...but i've got my animal to amuse me.

How bizarre.


Amy said...

And why have you not posted pics of Melvin and Harris??? hmmmm???????

Jessica said...

Sorry for just butting into your blog. I have a lot of questions about Bronchiectasis If you find the time could you email me?