I sit here in an utter chaos mess of pain. And it’s not like it’s some horrible shooting pain in the lungulars, but rather, a cacophony of …painful sensations. It’s the pleurisy and the pneumonia at the front; it’s the heartburn in the middle, and it’s the muscle pain in my ribs from wearing a bra too tight for far too long.
The pain in my ribs seems to be near the surface. It doesn’t matter if I slouch, sit up straight, or scrunch on either side, the pain is there, and it feels like the flesh and muscle is being pulled away slowly from my rib bones.
Romantic, isn’t it?
I took a Tylenol 2. I caved, but so far I don’t feel as if I’m flying, and I’m not suffering any other horrific hallucinogenic sensations like my previous time using T2 (anyone recall me feeling like I was dying, flying, and suffering from some horrible virus?). I remembered now – 2 months late – that the pharmacist man told me to take 1 Tylenol 2 with food, wait half hour, and take the next, and that way I wouldn’t suffer any horrifying effects. Basically, I neglected all his information and suffered horribly, only to remember and heed his advice too far into the future for it to ever benefit me properly. Oh well, c’est sara.
I had a conversation with Meghann tonight that had to do with post-tx lung connections. Yes, you read that right, and if you don’t understand just what I mean let me explain this to you. Sit down, grab a snack, cross your legs, and go pee, b/c it could be a long time.
I confessed to Meghann my irrational fear that involved my lungs falling out post transplant. Yes, falling out. It never dawned on her to consider and question just how the lungs stay intact inside the body, once the donor lungs are attached to our brachis. Basically (from my understanding) they suture and glue them in three places. Well me, being me, created a fear that what if, by some divine force, someone or something hits me, and the lungs become detached and fall out/ break away and falls into my intestines.
I told her that when I confessed this to my surgeon that he laughed at me. LAUGHED at me. Meghann told me she never considered this. I told her only someone like me would ever do so. But really…what if people??