My Double Lung Transplant

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Listen to the rain

Today was hot and humid, and as a result, we had a massive thunderstorm/tornado/windstorm/torrential downpour that had tree branches littering the streets, rain blowing sideways, and people flying through the air. It was incredibly exciting and scary, as the girls and I were downtown in the Red Rocket when it started up. One minute the sky was black and the next minute it was swirly and there was lighting and thunder and wind, oh my! I can say, that the Red Rocket took it like a champ and there is no damage to it, which is good b/c....


Yes you read that right. The Red Rocket - dearly beloved, decrepit - Red Rocket, is on her way out. I am both torn and excited. We've known for a while that her time was up (hello, we've had her almost 19 years), and it's come unexpectedly, BUT, i'd rather it be unexpected than planned.

So Weds at 5pm dad and i go to the dealership to pick up the new car (Hyundai Elantra sedan), aptly named Cherry Bomber (thanks Ash!), so it's exciting. Pics galore will be taken and i will try my best to post some (yes, rust in the back seat included). Tomorrow will most likely be the last excersion with the girls in the Red Rocket, so they will have sufficent time to say goodbye and get final pics. The Red Rocket will be missed, as she has been a part of many-a-memories! Tomorrow the Red Rocket will be employed on its last mission of helping Krystal move out of her cupboard and in with Jenna. YAY!

In other news: i feel like utter shit. Physically, the lungs are not doing well at all, and it's hard for me to determine if it's b/c they're just getting worse b/c they're bastards, or if it's a combo of the humidty and the tobi or what? What bothers me is that today wasn't even that humid - not by usual southern Ontario standards. Anyone who lives here during the spring and summer can attest to the fact that it gets rediculously humid here, and today was pretty timid. What will i feel like when humidex values are in the 40's??

Needless to say, I cannot move. Any bit of movement leaves me so out of breath and gasping. I can't take even the smallest 'deep' breath in; it's pretty rediculous. As a result, today i was impatient and bitchy and had a lot of road rage when i was out.

When the humidity broke and the storm came, i didn't feel any better. Evidentally, some spells cannot be broken. I have pain in the middle of my chest when i cough, so i don't know if i'm getting sick again or what, but i'm certainly more phlegmy feeling. What can you do though? Also, i think pleurisy may be firing itself up again, but only time will tell.

So you can see, it's been a bundle of fun. Currently I'm in my room with all the lights off (but one), and i've got The Tudors season 1 on, the window wide open, listening to the rain outside. My O2 is on, and I'm nebbing, and you'll be proud people, I TOLD MY PARENTS HOW SHITTY I FEEL.

I was honest. I told my dad that i felt so bad i didn't want to move; that any little movement was a massive effort, and that if i still feel like this monday that i am calling my tx coordinator and arranging to see my respirologist that's close to me. If they want to incarcerate me to the hosp, I will willingly go. That is how bad I feel. I just don't care: all i know is that i cannot deal with feeling like on my own. It is too much.

Other than that, mentally, i am feeling a lot happier which is good. I hope you're all well and enjoying your weekend wherever you are.

I don't know why i keep thinking it's Sunday?


Marjolein said...

The biggest hug to you
You're in my thoughts hun


Alice said...

When I read that description of how you're feeling you took me right back to that place. You've got talent!!! But yeah, I had a few times where I felt like I don't care if they saw me open NOW, I need an escape, I can't go on like this!!!! And it's the most helpless feeling EVER.