My Double Lung Transplant

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Another Dignifying Experience

*This Dignifying Experience has been brought to you by Shame and Embarassment, and a little bit of Humbleness*

I had a shower lastnight, one of those showers where you feel so sick and tired and - ugh - that you go slow like a turtle. I managed to wash my face and body standing up, but when it came to my hair i had to forfeit and succumb to washing my hair by sitting on the bathtub floor.

Yeah, it was special. While people my age are graduating university, going to parties and having fun, i was sitting on the bathtub floor, trying to catch my breath, and telling myself that it really wasn't that bad; that it wouldn't be like this forever.

So i turned around. I turned around so that I was on the opposite end of the tub, facing the faucet, the drain, and the shower head rained down on me. And i decided to look at the positive in my situation.

For one, from my vantage point on the tub floor, the shower curtain gave off a yellow hue to the tiles and suddenly, i felt like a Beetle in a yellow submarine. Not many people can say they've experienced that, can they? Nope, they can't.

I looked over myself and decided to appreciate what i have. Well, I have 2 bruises on my legs instead of 4, both of which are fading nicely (until i go and kick or bang myself again). I have half a roll in my stomach instead of a whole one, and i was slouching so it's probably not that bad when I sit. My feet were violet: not all-out purple.

My manicure looked great in the shower, and i smelled nice b/c of my body wash. Though my stomach is incredibly white, at least there aren't any sun damage marks to it. I have half a sunburn on my left shoulder from driving yesterday but it's not so bad and it doesn't hurt.

And best of all, when I got out of the shower, though I was exhausted, depleted, and sad, it was still sunny outside...the kind of sunset that you see at the end of the day when you're up at the cottage, where you reflect on what you did and you get to snuggle into warm sweaters and sweatpants by a bon fire and relish the fact that at some point, everything will be ok. So that's what I did.

I am feeling a little better today. I made some muffins. I waited for dad to come home at lunch from work, but he never did so i called him and asked. He's not coming home and asked how i felt. I said a little better. He asked if i was going to physio and i stayed silent. He told me it's best if i take it easy so it's been deiced that we are not going, and i'm thrilled.

Next up, i have to get blood taken today. Still really out of breath but at least i can stay in the city today!!


Never underestimate the power of a needle the width of an ice pick. Aside from ABGs, today's needle was the most painful thing ever. Aptly stabbed on the inside of my elbow (closest corner to the body to be precise), the needle went in fine. As my vein slowed down in its generosity began to fail, the pain set in. Pain so sudden and horrendous i was tempted to squeeze out a tear.

Now, a mere hour later, i hurts to extend my arm, and i was shocked upon my arrival home, when i rolled up my sleeve painfully, to see the tape had ripped off and the cotten was soaked with blood...and underneath, resided a nasty, painful lump.

A lump so big in proportions that it extends to a region i don't think the needle itself ventured to. A lump so big it looks like a space ship that may take off

The only thing that will make me feel better, and like justice has been served to showcase the painfulness of this, is if i get a big, nasty, grotesque, horrific, lumpy bruise. And that my friends, is shaping up to being likely.

This furthers my reasons for being lazy...since i cannot walk far w/o gasping, i can no longer extend my arm due to the massive lump in my elbow.


Megan said...

well... crap Xx

Meghann "Queen of the O2 People" said...

Lumps: Nature's way of saying needle's shouldn't exist.


Amy said...

I second all that has been said!