My Double Lung Transplant

Friday, March 20, 2009

Failing in Epic Proportions

I awoke today at 7:24am. I had to go to rehab, yet somehow, by some divine act of God and Buddah combined, there was no maternal figure outraged at my door, telling me to get up, or asking if i was up. Oh no people, all was silent. There was no dad to be heard, quietly inquiring if i had risen from my slumber, and there was no finicky mother yelling about my whereabouts. Oh no, all was well.

I decided to stay where i was. I decided that if i stayed with my back to the door, wiggled slightly lower into my covers, that it would appear as if i was missing should some parental figure decide to barge in upon a search for me.

Nothing happened.

I shut my eyes.

Said eyes were opened once again at 7:44am. Rehab opens at 8am, and usually i leave the house at 8am and arrive for 8:30, but today, nothing.

I shut my eyes again.

I re-opened them at 7:54am. Still no inquiries, and one parent less in the house. I heard mum come up the stairs...waited for the water in their bathroom to turn on, and 13 minutes later at 8:07am, i heard my mum go down the stairs, go out the door, and put up the garage door.

I had done it. I had ambushed the parents, I had masterminded and dodged rehab, and I went back to sleep, not waking up until 10am. I feel marvelous.

In fact, I feel so genius at the moment that I could quite literally leap from buildings. I feel one-part wonderful, two-parts bad-ass, and one hundred percent amazing.

The fact that I was able to remain silent for that whole hour is miraculous in and of itself. I knew that the minute i coughed would be the minute i was discovered, but i held it in, and refused to cough until i knew the coast was clear. Because you see, people, coughing, reminds people of my presence, and if i don't cough, they either forget, or don't know, that I am actually there. Thus, lack of coughing, means lack of Bree, which means, she could really be anywhere.

Understand? Yes, I thought you would.

So today I am planning on cleaning my room. So far it is failing in epic proportions. To be fair, I have gone so far as to bring up the enddust, and a cloth, and i have thought about cleaning, but i havent gotten around to it just yet. You see, I have been too busy emailing people, and texting, and talking on MSN to attend what really matters. I will clean at some point. I will start with *tear* putting away bits and peices of my Dell desktop that will never be used again...My keyboard, my various assortments of mouse...I don't know if i can bring myself to pack up my screen...Not yet. Packing up my screen signals that things are final and that Dell is dead and never coming least not in desktop form. It's too much. Screen = hope. So Screen will stay.

Oh yes, dilema number one has been solved from yesterdays' post. Contact was made, 'missing' was ensured, and human contact may be made at some point this weekend. Cross your fingers and your toes, and other extremities that you deem appropriate and crossing-worthy please and thank you.

I have clinic Monday? Have I stated that? It seems that I have contracted brain damage from my friend who has no memory to speak of. I have been spending too much time with her. Every time I ask someone "have I told you this?" and they say "yes", i say, "Well, I'm gonna tell you again anyways, since I don't remember telling you in the first place" since I don't remember if i've told you i have clinic monday, now you know. My spidey senses tell me it's time to start Tobi again, but since i lack a compressor and i lack a repeat on my prescription, it is a little impossible. In the mean time, i am falling phlegmy and sickly again. Oh well.

That is all. Tonight I am off to a drag show of epic proportions. I am excited.


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