Sometimes I question whether or not the Spawn was born with a brain, and this train of though was swiftly verified when she proceeded to hack and vomit up shit all over the floor. I'm not talking about food, or eating something random, I'm talking about dog shit. She eats it, and it's a female thing and is very prevelant among female dogs especially if they've had litters. It doesn't matter how frequently you scoop the crap in the backyard, somebody always has a secret stash somewhere, and apparently the Spawn found it, and ate it, and puked it up to my virgin eyes all over the carpet.
And let me tell you, it smelled rancid. I don't think I've ever screamed so much in my life. I don't think i ever gagged so much. I think even Zoey was so offended that she wouldn't even come near the kitchen. I coughed and I gagged and I almost lost my ham sandwich as i cleaned the shit up. Then she did an encore and barfed at the slider door...and into the runner and everywhere, and I fell to my knees and screamed like a demon child. I didn't matter how much OxyCleaner i sprayed, or how many candles i lit....the house smelt like shit, and opening windows for a long time isn't an option as currently, there'a bout 10cm of snow outside and it's -5!
Cleaning the crap up was tedious and painful. Not painful b/c it smelt like shit, but painful in the lungular region. God, it hurts so much to move my arms in a cleaning motion. It's the same pain i get when i do laundry...when i transfer it from the washer to the dryer, and when i'm folding. It's the same pain i get when i walk, the same pain i got yesterday when i was at No Frills buying ingredients for fudge and stupidly lugging around a basket. It's this feeling of pain that's so tremendous that you seriously believe at any moment you're going to drop and just die on the spot. It's a feeling like your lungs are being ripped from your trachea one bronchi at a time, and it's horrible and i can't really describe it. It sucks. Sometimes, it's a feeling like you've been kicked in the sternum from the inside....like some tiny little elf is trying to get out.
And i forgot to mention that when i got blood taken at the hosp last week (or maybe i mentioned it), the nurse informed me that my nails were blue - even though i had oxygen on. Spendid.
Hopefully i'll get my call soon. Hope you're all well.