My Double Lung Transplant

Friday, October 3, 2008

Gastric motility test, fuck you, we meet again

And so it begins - again.

Once again I have to do that stupid fucking gastric motility test. Remember the one that tried to kill me, where they put that fucking tube down your nose and it choked and strangled me, and i was crying and vomitting and dying all over the place? Yeah, that one. Me and it have a date on Tues at 8:45am for 24 hours. I hope it's not as horrible as last time.

Don't get me wrong; this isn't voluntary by any means. You can be assured that I gave the doctor particularly evil glances and a raised eyebrow for the entire duration of my appt on Weds. My dad wasn't happy that i wasn't be co-operative; the doc was amused; i was on the verge of tears and going on a rampage.

The doc told me that when i had it done the test must have been ' a red herring'. In other words: they fucked up. The barium test showed that i have no issues swallowing FOOD (you pervert, amy you!), but they have to do the gastric again to check out the heart burn dealio so........Fuck.

This means that I will be in TO Mon, Tues, and Weds with my dad. I got my Sick Kids appt bumped up to Weds instead of going on the 15th so that's good. I will be carpooling with Scottish Dave on the 15th so that's great, wonderful, fantastic, amazing. No bus for me, so I can't complain.

I met a newly listed lung tx person on Weds. Graham is his name. He's very nice, and he made me laugh when he heard me cough. I coughed and he looked astonished at the sound and goes, "Man that's horrible! Can you take anything for it?" I tried not to shit my pants laughing at this. I looked at him and said, "Trust me, I'm on everything you could possibly be on and it doesn't work." He asked me what I was taking and I promply reeled my list to him, which thus made him more astonished. I'm not upset that nothing works to be honest. Actually, i rally off my med list with pride and I glow from the inside as their faces change from interest to pure amazement. I know my cough is completely disgusting; i know it can clear an elevator if i wanted it to. I know that, and I'm ok. I'll keep rockin' the gross cough until it's time for the lungs to come.

Of course on Weds i saw a lot of hot interns. Really hot if we're to be honest. They were crawling all over the hospital. Too bad i had oxygen with me or else i wouldn't have been opposed to attracting any of the guys to my aid. Oh well. Havent seen McIntern since he departed back in May. Oh well. For the most part I hate interns, you know that. But i love the male interns, make no mistake. I shouldn't keep going on about them however since it makes me sound like a preditor almost.

Well here's a good looking fellow (Henry Cavill, *drool*) before I depart for the day. He's from the Tudors and he's gorgeous. He's so hot i bet he gets women pregnant just by standing next to them:

Oh Sir Charles Brandon....I love you so...If only you weren't a man-whore...



Amy said...

LMAO!!!!!!! I made it into your blog again!!!! Haha and funny thing is I didn't even think perverted until you said my name haha!! Figures right? LOL

I hope the test isn't too bad! Just think of the hot interns the whole procedure...maybe it will distract you hehe!!!!


Alice said...

Man-whore??? Who the hell cares??? *droooooolsss*... Henry is hot too... esp his lips.... You got my day off to a good start there Bree!!!! But now I'm also a tad frustrated!!!!

Jennifer said...

I agree with Alice. Henry is quite the hottie, but he's such a brat, he'd never be anything but a one nighter with me.

And UGH for the gastric motility test!!! Freakin' tube! I've had that done twice, and neither time went too well.