I GOT THE CALL FOR LUNGS TODAY!
At 11:06am they called the house and I wasn't here, I was at the docs in another city. My doc and i were talking about how i may wait longer b/c of my size, when something started beeping and my phone started vibrating, and i checked my pager and it said "1 NEW MSG" and my phone kept ringing. IT WAS THE CALL.
They asked me if i had anything to eat and i said a small breakfast. They told me not to eat anything and to get to TO asap. I told them i wasn't in my city, i was at my respirologist and they told me to get there as fast as i could. I was freaking out/shaking/alarmingly calm. They said to get there by 12:30 and that the donor was a 'beautiful little girl' with 'beautiful pink lungs' but she was deteriorating rapidly.
We made it to Milton when they called my cell again informing me that the donor had deteriorated too fast and that the surgery was off. I wasn't suprised, but i am a little bummed. Part of me wonders if i dawdled too much at the docs, or if i could have gone faster. But i know i can't do that since it largely depends on the donor.
Am i crushed? Not really. If i don't think about it i'm fine; it's when i think about it that i get down. At least they know i'm on the list and near the top! I just hope i don't wait too much longer till the real call comes!
Say a prayer for me people!
For now, I'm going to Jenna's house for apple crisp and try to be as normal as possible.