My Double Lung Transplant

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

"What's wrong???"


Fucking fuck fuck FUCK!

I fucking hate people sometimes.

Don't you hate it when you're in a shitty mood, and every little thing that people do annoys the absolute shit out of you? So much so that when they're around you, you want to smack and strangle them? Well that's how I feel today.

Firstly, I woke up early to register for my winter classes. I told my mum that IF - let me stress the word IF - she didn't see my light on in my room at 7am, to wake me up. However, should she see my light on, then know that I am awake and registering. I roll over and look at the clock. It reads 6:54am. My door pops open and my mum says, "It's 7am!" I wanted to scream, "No mum, it's not! It's not 7am so don't wake me the fuck up!" The fact of the matter is, is that I was awake and hadn't had the chance to turn my light on. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Secondly, I struggled out of bed. My o2 tubing decides to get stuck and tangled to my bed frame. I wanted to scream and sever it. I pulled it; it made it tighter. So i just got so mad that I threw my o2 off.....I threw it off so fast that it cut the o2 supply off pretty quickly and I was soon greeted with a massive headache. Thanks to my stupidity it feels like 2 Neanderthals are pounding rocks inside my head today - even though I've taken 4 advil. Sometimes you can't just take your o2 off ASAP, sometimes you need to feel ready for it, and I cleary wasn't. So i still have a massive headache brewing in my brain case, and my body feels like shit all together. Just another reason to hate myself today.

Then.....stupid shit. I met with Katey and Krystal for lunch at the Taps today which was good since I havent seen them in eons. Shitty part is i stayed too long and as a result got no work done and am freaking out. I feel like I have sooooo muuuuuuuuch reading to dooooo that I just want to scream and cry and melt into the floor. Blah. But either way, I am glad I got to see them as i have missed them dearly since academia has stolen my sole pretty much up until Christmas time. I hope it returns to me one day.

Then, i finally get home around 4 - my dog looked like he was dead. He wasn't breathing (that i could see). I stood and i stared at him. I looked as his face and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth. I started to cry. Then, his eye popped open and I knew he was ok. It made me cry harder b/c i was so happy that it wasn't true; that he was infact ok. He is old and went deaf in the summer, so he doesn't hear when people come home and he sleeps very deeply. I am just happy he's ok!

Then.....I had to make supper, b/c i was the only one home, and when people get home they bitch and moan that nothing is made so long story short i made it. I don't mind making it, except when my dad got home I was telling him the story about how I thought Casey was dead, and i had a knife in my left hand. As i was telling him about my discovery, i used my left hand to point behind me to where i saw Casey, and unbeknownst to me, Maddy (one of our other dogs) was standing right behind me. I HIT HER IN THE FACE WITH A KNIFE! THE SHARP PART TOO!

What! THE FUCK!? Maddy just stared at me if nothing happened, and after a thorough inspection of her face, it was clear that she was perfectly ok. Honestly, I don't even think she knows she got hit in the face with a knife....but it made a pretty awful sound so i know i got her!

Then, people come home, all happy as shit, me, wanting to get the fuck out and do hw somewhere. I hate it when people are happy and you're in a shitty mood, and they act like it's their goal in life is to cheer you up. If anything, happy cheery people make me more angry when i'm in a crappy mood. It makes me want to slap them. Then....dum dum dum....the question that i HATE comes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just have a lot of work."

"Are you sure? You look like you're dying..." (honest to God that's what they said)

"Yeah...I'm fine." *feels anger boil inside*



"What's wrong!?!??!"


If i'm angry, is it ok if you just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE?!? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK SOMETIMES?!?!?!

Maybe i'm just a tremendous bitch. I don't know!!! But i have to go read about horrible events elsewhere in the world to feel better about myself.

I hope all you people are fairing better than myself today!

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