My Double Lung Transplant

Thursday, July 5, 2007

How to Kill a Lobster

Over lunch I got into a debate with Jenny about how to kill a lobster. She says the best and most humane way is to shove it into a boiling pot of water and let it die. I suggested breaking it's neck b/c it's quick and painless, whereas if you stuff it into a boiling pot of water it would suffer and well, boil to death! Funnily enough, I was having Mr. Noodle Soup for lunch and took a sip and it spilled all over my lips and burnt me. It was hot. Really hot. I seriously thought i had 2nd degree burn. Do you know what Jenny did? She laughed.

I am still locked out of a computer program here at work. It appears my brain has shut down and forgotten my password. It sucks b/c I am emailing the technical advisor and she probably thinks I am either really dumb, or I don't know how to follow instructions.

Probably both.

So here I sit, still getting postal codes, and trying to get through to the sleep lab to ask them if they have oxygen (which my respirologist said they did, but to still call them to ask just to make sure). I have my 'back up' oxygen, which looks like a small rocket. No lie. It stands about 2 feet tall and can supply enough O2 for 8 hours. This one must only be used in emergencies such as a black out (which we so famously had in 2003 - and which was tons of fun even though it was hot as hell). My other portable oxygen containers (aka tanks, which they fucking are b/c they're so heavy. The smallest ones which i'm expected to cart around with me are tanks and weigh about the same as one. My purse weighs about the same as one of these tanks, but you won't hear me complain about the weight of that).

So what do you use at night, you ask? Well, an oxygen concentrator aka The Monster which i have named it. The Monster is grey and stands about 2 feet tall and weighs 55lbs. He's a beast I tell you - a beast! He lives in the living room b/c he gets hot and turned my room into a jungle temperature wise. He grumbles and thumps and gives off heat. He works by taking the oxygen out of the air and gives it to me via a tube. Understand? Good. I have 50ft of tubing that goes up the stairs and into my bedroom. At first my cat Zoey was terrified of the tubing for some bizarre reason. Funny...the Monster didn't scare her but clear plastic tubing really freaked her out. Sometimes she concerns me...

Needless to say my bedroom is litered with more breathing equipment than most people see in a life time. My closet is stuffed with oxygen tubing (which comes in 7ft, 25 ft, and 50ft), oxygen cylinders (2, 2 liter tanks, and 1, 8 liter tank). Then my nebulizer compressor is on the floor, where the nebulizer (or neb) tubing lies. It's about a foot and a bit long. My desk is littered with Advair, Spiriva, HTS (Hyptertonic Saline which you put IN the nebulizer) annnnnd my arrow-chamber (that you attach to the Advair so it doesn't go directly into your mouth and give you a nasty taste and wreck your teeth) that's about it. Oh yes, and my PEP (Positive Expiratory Pressure) mask, which you put on your face and breathe into. I hate that one the most just b/c it looks like some bizarre sex toy. My Septra and Singulair are kept in my drawer - neatly, unlike the rest of my stuff which is scattered. At least if we get a tornado, i'll be able to locate that stuff better than if it was kept all together!

That's about it for now. I am feeling better now that i'm able to get more crap out. I've got a doctors appt on Monday with my respirologist to discuss some stuff and I will tell you how that goes, when it goes!

Until then, I'll write later!


Jenny said...

Lobsters don't have necks.

And according to this man, who has an entire BLOG about Lobsters... Well, I'll let you be the judge of what he says is most humane.

And scroll down to his entire entitled "How to Kill a Lobster".

I still think my way is better.

Jenny said...

When I said "entire" the second time, I meant "entry".