it can't be.
I've spent hours pouring over Eva's blog, and I refuse to beleive that this is the end for her.
It can't be.
She's too colourful. Too vibrant. Too beautiful to leave this world.
It simply can't be true.
It breaks my heart more than you could know, and I don't even know Eva - just 'know' her through her LJ and from what I've seen on Facebook.
Can your heart be broken by someone you don't even know? Yes. I beleive you can be touched by people at large, from far and wide, by their situation alone. And my brain just can't wrap itself around the notion that she could leave this planet at any moment. I pray and wish for a miracle to come her way, to sweep her up and and encompass her, and to restore her life to what it was and all the potentials that it has to be.
This can't be true.
Can one accept this fate for themselves? I guess so...because in August, the week I got my call/transplant, I knew full-well that I was dying and I finalized a lot of stuff. The week of August 7th I caught up on emails, phone calls, texts, blogs, baking, let everyone know how much I loved them, and poof, the call came.
Will the same happen for Eva? I hope and pray it does. She cannot leave - she has impacted too many people. She is too special, I feel. Too many people love her, and hopefully that love is enough to tether her to the planet until another pair of lungs come along. But at the same time, maybe that is entirely selfish of me...from someone who has never met her because she is on the other side of the country from me.
So to Eva, from someone who has never met you, but from someone who has been deeply impacted by your story, by your fight, by your joy and zest for life, please don't go. You're a wonderful, beautiful, exceptional creature and there is much more for you to acheive and accomplish and to live for. That is my prayer and wish for you. Many people love you - whether they know you personally or not - you have managed to touch the world at large through your words and your story spoken through your fingertips on your LJ.
Please don't go.
This is not the end for you.
Love love love.