My Double Lung Transplant

Thursday, April 30, 2009



*stops, drops, and rolls*


*throws small child out window*

*kind of feels better*

I know, I know, this isn't the end of the world. Shut the fuck up, already.


Gah. So this is how it's gonna work: I am going on prednisone for 10 days. First 5 days, I take 30mg a day (6, 5mg tablets), and after 5 days, I go down to 15mg a day (3, 5mg tablets). I made for extra certain sure this is how it would work. I looked at the horrible prescription and through my feeling of terribleness i looked my doctor straight in the eye sand asked, "this isn't gonna make me fat, is it?". She said no. I told her I was on it 6 years ago and gained 10lbs in 6 days. She said that was a lot, and that I probably had a huge appetite boost with it. I basically took that as this time trying to air on the side of self-control and not make a spectacle of myself.

HOWEVER, if by this weekend I am not feeling better, she is working in the hosp and I am to ring her up and get admitted. There I will be given arosol treatments, chest physio (where they bring a stupid person in to beat you, which i'm against in every way shape and form) and maybe IV antibiotics. She's not sure what's up, but she thinks the asperguillis could be the culprit and that there is a lot of inflammation.

So boo. My spidey senses were absolutely right.

I got to my car and sat inside. I had the windows down b/c the new car smell is realy overpowering...almost like markers. I tried to think of ways to boycott prednisone, though i know i shouldn't. I couldn't help but notice that I had laid the prescription on the passengers seat, and that the window was open, making things blow....

Maybe it will fly out the window... But no, I stopped myself before my hand could execute the murder of my predinsone prescription, and alas, it still sits in my car waiting to be dropped off. I'll get to it later today, for now I'm just eating a giant bowl of frootloops....Enjoying them before the prednisone sets in. I hope to god it doesn't turn me into a monster.

I'm such a horrible, superficial person sometimes. BUT, i realize, as fearful as I am of pred, maybe this time won't be that bad, since i'm extra wary of all the horrible things that could happen to me. And at least this isn't perminent...I'll learn some self-control, and i'll learn anger management too, most likely.

I will keep you all updated!

In other news, we got rid of the Red Rocket yesterday. The Red Rocket: July 21, 1994- April 29, 2009. Dad and I got some final pics on the way to the dealer. It was really nostalgic for us both; though we've known for eons the car had to go, it's helped us through a lot. In true Tempo form, as we pulled out of the driveway, the orange Low Fuel light came on. I got a picture of it. And i also got a picture of my final scold in the Tempo. Upon waiting at a red light, i stuck my arm out the window to get a pic with me and my dad. My dad, being a dad, said, "You better not drop that. Put the string around your wrist". I got a pic of that too, it's really close up.

I think the saddest part was when we arrived at the dealership and got out of the Tempo for one last time. I stepped out, and shut the door, and that's when i heard it.


The Tempo was groaning. It wasn't just, the groaning that happens when the brakes settle, this went on for about 5 minutes. My dad got out of the drivers side and said, "OMG! It's groaning! It knows! It doesn't want us to go!" In a bizarre, sick way, it was kind of a dying infant animal giving a final wail for help as the parents turn around to leave, b/c they know they cannot save it, for if they stick around to watch it die, they put themselves in danger.....The Red Rocket was very much screaming out to us, "NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

*heart breaks*

That was deep.

Speaking of deep, I went to my respiralogists office today with an 'opening' of what i'd say to her to get across how bad i feel. I won't lie when i say this came to me sitting on the toilet last night.

"I thought I felt terrible before, but this is different; this is misery."

Nice eh? Needless to say I contemplated saying it....but chickened out when she uttered "hospital". I had no doubt it would be suggested, it's just scary when you hear it said allowed. It's kind of like shouting "TORNADO!"

That is all.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Awe poor Tempo :(

Glad you aren't locked up and hope the Prednisone helps!!!