I've mildly recovered from the previous entries rageful spewl against the notion of having a feeding tube inserted into my precious eating vessel. I thank the person (whose name I cannot remember) who gave me the names of different kinds of feedings tubes and made me see that it's not all completely horrible. Thank you for saving me from further insantity.
I think my worry regarding said feeding tube was the fact that i felt it meant that no drop of food, coke, booze or anything pleasant (omg bacon!) would ever graze my lips agains, and my mouth would dry, rot, and fall off, and i'd be mangled if prednisone did not mangle and bloat me to monstrous proportions already. Seriously, this was my vision. It's horrible, and it's drastic but i mean....have i not been shit on enough already in this life?? Seriously? To be maimed with the inability to swallow?? Yeah...pretty fucked. Tho, the hypothesis that i have been drawn to conclude to is this: what if said swallowing 'problems' are linked to my inability to breathe?? Yep that's right....bang on.
It's probably wrong but oh well.
Still have stabbing pleuritic pain in right lung. It has moved to the lower lobe in the front, and pinches and stings. I just took a motrin and it is working wonders right now - i am almost pain free. But me thinks we're getting sick:( I've been cold all day, and it was over 30*C today. I spent the afternoon shaking, my joints sore, and then i'd get really hot and then i'd be fine. And then the vicious cycle would start again. I had a hot shower and felt better, and i went on a hunt to find a thermometer and u'd think i could find it? NO. The only one i found was the one for the dogs marked 'RECTAL'.
A hot shower makes the lungs feel better. The lungs enjoy the heat. They do not enjoy emerging from the shower b/c the pain returns. It's the most odd feeling: it's like being in labour almost. Too bad it hurts to much to cough b/c i'd gladly cough out w/e the hell has taken up residents in les lungs.
Not sure why i'm potentially sick. Got Gamma last week. Oh well. I was told by a mother who's daughter has ADA SCID that there is a doc in the states who reads my blog. I freaked out, intitially running through my brain every bad thing i've ever said about doctors (b/c i say it so often) but it's never to anyone directly - i think. If you have questions, doctor, post a comment with an email addy or w/e and mark it 'confidential' if u must, and i should hope to get back to u if u want me to. If that's allowed?
It's weird...b/c my own parents don't even know i blog.
That's all children.