My Double Lung Transplant

Friday, January 25, 2008

And suddenly...the world stopped.

Things have happened lately.

Friends have gotten lungs; friends are losing lungs; and others are waiting. Some, are waiting longer than others. One person whose blog I've read, has been waiting for 3 years. 3 years! What's right about that? Nothing.

My friend Q got lungs in October. He had a good recovery. Sure, he had setbacks that required additional surgeries; but his lungs were good...until now. It seems over night he's lost over a litre of function. What's right about that? Again: nothing.

Alice got her lungs on the 22nd after a long wait. So far she is doing good, and I hope she continues on this trend. I have not checked her blog yet so I don't know of any new updates. I read this morning and it said she was awake but still on the vent. I hope soon she's off and breathing with her new lungs.

Then there are those who are waiting: waiting to be listed, like me and Karen; waiting for the call like Kayla or Nicola. The whole thing seems like a waiting game and it really sucks. It's hard to not get down about things, especially when things go wrong and you don't get the news you want. But that's life. Life and shit happens; and sometimes in life, you get shit on.

It's not fun when you can't breathe. Everything is 100x harder. Everything takes 100x more effort to do. Everything leaves you tired and without motivation. It makes you irritated and not fun to be around. You feel listless and deprived of a lot of things. It makes you look at the people who have 'nothing' wrong - their life seeminly couldn't be more perfect. Sure, I bet they have their shit happen, but they're still breathing. You're lucky there. You don't know what it's like to struggle to truely breathe until it's taken away. Those who have had tx tell me it's easy and something you can't ever imagine.


It makes me think back to when I could breathe. When I was just like everyone else and I never thought twice about it. And then I got sick.

And suddenly...the world stopped.

1 comment:

Alice said...

I also had that, you think other people have it easy, because whatever shit they have going on, at least they can breathe. I know the feeling will probably pass, but right now NOTHING that is not health-related can upset me. Cause I can BREATHE!