My Double Lung Transplant

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


"I don't like to go out at night; I'm afraid of being molested"

These were the sentiments uttered by an older lady at rehab today, as I sat beside her at the weights bench. Roughly 80 years of age, she was jesting with an equally old gentlemen as to why she doesn't like to swim at night time, when he told her that he prefers to go swimming at night to avoid 'young people'. Her response was shocking but was met with screams of laughter, as she proclaimed, "I don't like to go out at night; i'm afraid of being molested", to which this was met with, "at least if you get molested, you're an experienced woman" implying that she has lots of sexual experience.

It is odd to hear the older people talk about sex and alcohol so much. Truely. I love when Gordie talks about his love for alcohol and how he always makes people laugh. Once he was on the arm bike and picked up the hand sanitizer and read, " be served with gin". There is not a day that goes by where some sexual or alcoholic reference isn't made. While these people may be 'old', they are certainly young at heart. It is nice to see, and mildly disgusting at the same time, lol.

I left rehab a little early today b/c i wasn't feeling well. I dont' know what it is but i felt like falling off the bike today and never peeling myself off the floor. I rode the bike for 8 minutes, got dizzy, hopped off, and was shocked to see my sats and h/r at 89%/150, even on 4L of oxygen. Oh well. What can I do, right? Nothing. Luckily the parking lot wasn't full so i got a nice close spot, and thanks to the cold weather, the spot where you pay or swipe your card is frozen so they have the arms up so you just glide on through. Woo hoo!

Today also marks the 5th year of Karyn's passing. 5 whole years. Holy crap. I cannot beleive it has been 5 years, but apparently it has. When i came onto the blog today I was greeted with "Time Of Your Life" by Green Day randomly. I never hear that song - ever, and my playlist is set to random. Since I never hear it it was shocking and I didn't know whether to scream or cry or what. This is the song they played at her funeral and i never ever hear it. Coincidence?

A couple of tears have squeaked out, but I can honestly say that it feels like another day; it doesn't feel like 'the day she died'; that inevitable day that you see on the calender and dread. I remember finding out when she died, and I am trying not to remember that feeling of hollowness that followed, like a peice of my heart had fallen out and my chest was an empty cavity (sans lungs encased in goo). The wrongness that accompanied the news is gone, and i am happy. But the feeling that still lingers is the utter saddness i felt, after finding out, and laying in bed with my pillow soaked through, and watching the news and hearing them announce it. It felt wrong to go on when my friend's life had just ended. I don't ever want to feel that way again, and I am glad that i don't.

So here we are 5 years later. I am not mourning, only remembering. That is all I want to say about this.

So yes, I hope everyone had a good day! Apparently there's some snow storm coming? Thankfully I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow, I can hole up and whore myself over my book like i've been wanting to do. Hope you had a great day!:)

And no, that pic isn't my nana and papa. I found it on Sexy People under the "Xmas" tag. A personal favourite is "Walter with Cat" (under the 'pets' tag), and "Reginald"(who can be found under the 'bowl cut' tag). Enjoy!

No comments: