My Double Lung Transplant

Saturday, July 5, 2008

It's awkward...

Canada day was good....I hung out at my neighbours house all day and ate and played cards, talked about tx a bit and the like, and in the end i backed out of going to fireworks b/c i couldn't do all the walking. I felt bad but i knew that if i had gone, i'd spend the entire evening wanting to be at home. So i opted for the safeness of my house and read my book (which i've now since finished as of Wednesday).

Yesterday was Jess and Danny's Stag and Doe. It was great; i sold tickets/took the tickets of people coming, and asked them to put their names and their phone numbers on the back so i could set them aside in a wicker basket for later on when we draw the door prizes. One guy asked me if he could keep his ticket with my number on the back, which i thought was sweet and incredibly weird at the same time. This wasn't the only guy though. Later on, i was informed by one of the groomsman that I would be his (the groomsmans) dancing partner for the wedding. Which is fine..except he's extremely taller than i am.

When i was being released from a hug with the groomsman (or usher as my mum has informed me) i was asked by another guy how tall i was. I get this question a lot, and sometimes it still bothers me but i've completely stopped using my bitchy answer and this is what i said:

"7 feet tall."
"7 feet tall."
"You're 7 feet tall?"
"Yes...Actually, I'm taller than [him] (the groomsman/usher) and it's just an optical illusion that i look smaller than him."

And then i think i walked away and made him feel incredibly bad about asking me how tall i was. I didn't mean to be rude or anything, but it woulda been damn awkward had i kept standing there, feeling no bigger than a bug. Later on he came up to me (drunk) and appoligized if he had offended me. I laughed and assured him that he hadn't; that I was joking. I also refrained from adding that he must be a stupid fucking idiot that he hadn't caught on to the fact that i was joking...instead i kept it to myself.

Later on, someone asked me what the pager was for.
"I'm a doctor."
"You're serious?"
"Yes. Why else would i have a pager?"

And it's completely funny b/c i say this with a straight face and everyone beleives me. They're shocked b/c i am so young to be an actual doctor, but my answer is so convincing that they have to repeatedly ask. Don't get me wrong, I am not ashamed of my pager or anything, but it's pretty awkward when people you don't know ask you out of curiosity why you have a pager in the first place, and it would be even more awkard if i laid the heavy truth on them that i was waiting for a double lung transplant and that i had to carry the pager around in case they call me when i'm not alone. Insofar, doctor trumps waiting for lung transplant.

The night continued on well..we made lots of money. I stayed till the near end and fell into bed. I've been in a good mood all day. My sis informed me that her new bf would be coming over and that if i was worried about looking ugly again when he shows up, that i have fair warning to go make myself look human. And i did kind of, but i dind't change. She told me i could stay sitting on the deck when he came over, and that it wasn't an issue, but suddenly, when he appeared, and i realized that it would be me, and them...i suddenly felt incredibly much like a third wheel. A coughing wheel at that. So i went out, smiled, grabbed my stuff, and my sister told me nicely that i could say, and i said stupidly, "No it's ok. I don't want to be in the way..." and i dashed for the slider and she asked, "in the way of what?" and i mumbled, sounding like a man, "from talking".

It got even more awkard when i had to go back out and ask about where she had put my gum. i could tell my sister wanted to make a conversation but i really wanted to get the hell out. She told me i could go to her car and get some (since she threw mine out) and i said, "no it's ok" and i let out a barking, wet, lingering, unstoppable, phlegmy cough. It honestly sounded like thunder in the distance, and it was embarassing, and had i actually been in a position to run, i would have - straight into the house where i could sheild the world of my disgustingness. But actually...i think it saved me from ever having to be forced to sit down with new people for fear that i would inadvertently gross them out by means beyond my control.

So i guess it all works out.

I admit i feel incredibly rude having left, esp. now as i hear my mum and dad out with them but honestly....honestly?!

Before i go i must inform you all that Bob (have i mentioned Bob?) from rehab, got his transplant last week! Thurs, June 26th he got his new lungs and i couldn't be happier! Bob has truely been a good outlet for me - he has taken me under his oxygen wing and guided me with wisdom, positivity, and support since being listed. I can only hope that my time comes soon.

Speaking of soon, THE BLOG BLOG IS 1 YEAR OLD TODAY!!!!!



Jennifer said...

Happy blogging anniversary!

BreathinSteven said...

I'm with Jennifer!!! Happy blogging anniversary... I'm glad your blog was born... I'm glad you were born, Bree...



Alice said...

Happy b-day blog-blog!! What a funny post... Love your sarcasm with people and their stupid questions... Had the same feeling last year EXACTLY this time when my sis also had her new bf, and his parents came over, and I didn't want them to see me with my O2, so rather opted for the blue-look...

Dragonfly said...

Happy blogiversary!