My Double Lung Transplant

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Put to a halt

Funeral arragements for Howard have been put to a hault.....what since the disappearance of his body and all.

Last weekend when my dad cleared the pond, there was no sign of Howard. He thought maybe he had sunk to the bottom of the pond or something....but is now leaning towards the idea that something came along and well.....ate him (like that bastard ferrel bird who swooped down and ate our fish when we were away at my uncles funeral in August). So needless to say, I cannot perform a funeral while the body is MIA.

It's true, I've sat at my window and peered into the backyard, looking for a spot where i could dig a small plot (too lazy to dig 6 feet - we were gonna do 6 inches) and maybe nail a marker together but that cannot happen now that I do not have a body. So instead Howard is buried in my mind....tho I'd prefer to have him alive:(

What else? Hauled ass to rehab today. Walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes, did some arm bike thing, did a stationary for 2 minutes before my legs crapped out and I wanted to fall off like an invalid and lay on the floor and demand to be scooped up and carried to the nearest chair. I walked the hall twice and did stairs 4 times.

Lowest O2 sats were 88 and highest heartrate was...........156 me thinks. The liquid O2 arrives tomorrow and my RT called both my phone and my cell to inform me she'd actually be here - but i was too lazy to call back and confirm the call.

B/c I'm a horrible person.

But that's ok - I can accept that about myself.

What I cannot accept though, are some things I've had said to me recently. A while ago someone basically insinuated that had my compliancy been a little better than it sometimes is, I would not be in this situation - that needing a tx and getting this condition is essentially my fault. Apparently life is just a game and this is all shits and giggles.

Fucking people sometimes.

3 comments:

BreathinSteven said...

Hey You!

I'm with you on the fucking people sometimes... Ignorance in some situations is OK -- but who ever it was who said that was a few steps beyond ignorance...

Without question, there are some people with some conditions who may MAY worsten their problems with non-compliance... You were dealt a shitty hand in life and the piece-of-shit who insinuated that you've simply played it wrong should be given the pleasure of spending a day in your shoes... Not just with the problems and struggles you're currently experiencing -- but with the "adventure" your facing, and all of pain and fear that come along with the ride... They deserve to be bitch-slapped into next week...

But just smile and nod and let them think what they're thinking... Karma is a bitch and they'll understand some day...

In the meanwhile -- you keep hauling ass in rehab... Staying in shape is so very important -- you're training for more than the Olympics here... And I hope you like the liquid O2 -- I remember it made my life much easier...

Love,shits,giggles & whatever...

Steve

Alice said...

O my word... I can't beleive someone would SAY THAT!!!! How horrible!!! BITCH!!!! Anyway, sounds like you did A LOT!!!! Way more than I was able to do!!! You go girl!!!

Alice said...

I tagged you in a blog-chain-letter-thing! Go to my blog and follow the instructions if you want!