I've decided

...to make a scrapbook.

Not just any scrapbook, oh no. Little known pointless fact: i've kept every letter i've gotten in the mail from TGH since the very first one arrived. Every letter, detailing tests, appts, procedures, meetings, when i would have my evaluation, the evaluation package, x-rays, have been kept in a dusty space between my floor lamp and my night table.

After tx I will need something else to do other than read I suppose...and why not scrapbook (ie. pick a safe way to not lose all my shit) my adventure, so far, 2 years in the making? I think it's a brilliant idea and one that i honestly thought myself entirely above! I've never ventured into the scrapbooking world, though i know some that have. It will be exciting, time consuming, and probably angering at some points. I have this blog, I have my written diary, i have lots of momentos of my time waiting. And now all that has to come is the finishing act: The Transplant.

....

...Oh, and the recovery, and all the pain, and the side effects of meds, and water retention, and wondering if i made the right decision to get a tx, worrying if i'll end up fat and unattractive, and then to party like a rockstar (albeit safely!) when time permits.

So yes. Scrapbooking -in my head- seems like a good idea. We shall see if i actually do it...

...or get someone else to do it for me since I tend to be lazy when it comes to that kinda stuff.

Um what else? Well, the Vfend is a little better. I determined that yesterday's adventures vomitting were the result of mixed drugs: septra + zithro+Vfend= bad idea = wretching, dry heaving, and throwing up your much waited for sandwich. I determined that a healthy stomach is a happy stomach and have moved taking Vfend one hour after eating instead of taking it on an empty one.

So yes, isn't my life exciting?

What is exciting is all the planning i'm allowing myself to do for my life post tx. My dad asked me this the other day, and i told him honestly that i just want to do basic things, that the big things would come later but in the beginning i would relish being able to do even the smallest of tasks: like waking up and being able to go to the market on Sunday; not spend hours doing inhaled meds and waiting for them to take effect and the likes.

I can't wait for when I'm able to go out and enjoy myself! When the time comes I will go insane! I don't care if it's even rolling around in the grass at midnight in the park across the city to celebrate; I'll walk home b/c I can. I'll dance like a mad-woman and relish the tiredness that will follow, and i'll stay up and watch the sunrise just because i'm able to.

And best of all, I'll dance barefoot with my friends under the moonlight, because there will be no reason not to.

:)