Another Composite Article based on Observations made by Me as I live in Patienthood.
Anyone waiting on a transplant list of any sort can attest to my recent observations: The New People. The New People who are so new on the list who don't see you too often, because you've been there so long that you only need to go every other week, that when they see you, and assume that you are new, that they thus know more than you do about the waiting process and proceed to give off asshole vibes.
Has anyone else ever felt that? Or picked up on it? Because i most certainly felt a jolt of hostility from some old new people at rehab today, as i sat in my corner and was catered to by the physio people b/c i'm not supposed to move around the room by myself.
Are you following?
It wasn't just one old new person, but a bunch. People who have been listed maybe 2-3 months, who consider that 'long', and who have never been in the physio room with you before because you go every other week and are rarely there at the same time. The ones who look at you like you're there for the long haul - not realizing that you've actually been waiting almost a year -, yet they proceed to pass judgment b/c that's how they are.
Which is fine, because i chose to blatently ignore all of them today. I made a point to look as miserable as possible, to refuse eye contact with anyone but my people, and i did not smile or talk to anyone but those who i knew. I never waivered from my chair, i never helped anyone...I just shot back those hostile feelings to those who shot them towards me.
So how do i know that these people actually felt this way towards me? I don't, but like i said, it's the feelings....the vibes i got from the people. I probably came across as lazy since i'm not supposed to get up and get my own stuff b/c they don't want me getting cross-infected and blah blah. True, i did strut in the room and command all the attention. I did give off an air of 'fuck all of you new people, especially all of you recently done who waited no time', and i proceeded to shoot electricity from my finger tips if they dared to look at me, thus, jolting them with my awesomeness.
No seriously, i entered the room and stalked to the back, knocking into people and not saying hi or anything. Today, i couldn't be bothered with niceness. There were new people, and these new people thought their shit didn't smell, and i felt like it was up to me to show them what's what in this waiting game.
So cryptic and dramatic!
I didn't see too many interns today, which meant there was no ass-kicking or name taking. I basically ignored everyone today but the people i knew. B/c that's just how i am.
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1 comment:
I like it when you bring me back, Bree... I remember "the new people"... I didn't really do rehab because we were so busy at home it kept me in sufficient shape -- but there were new people in our twice-a-month support group with some of the same vibes you felt...
But, there was a core group who knew me way too well -- and when someone would start lipping about waiting a whole six months now!!!, like the world was falling apart and someone would point over at my smiling face and say, "He's been waiting over two years now..." And you'd watch them kinda slink back deeper into their seat...
It's funny -- it's a pain in the butt, but there is also a certain pride in having waited longer than many...
I hope you get what you need soon -- you're quite regularly on my mind and I'm so looking forward to hearing about you breathing like I'm breathing!!! And maybe next time you can go in kickin' ass and takin' names!!!
Love, Steve
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