24%

That's the final verdict of my spirometry test today: 24 whopping percent. I'm not suprised. No one said anything to me, they just sent me on my merry way and nobody really cares. That's fine, i don't really care either...

I told Meghann this and she said that it was bad, but good in the fact that it probably bumps me up on the list. I was kind of indifferent to it, said i hope so, and then she confessed that if i got done, that would leave her all alone on the list to suffer without me without her dearly beloved Canadian friend.

I told her to shut up. I told her to shut the fuck up right now, and yet she swore that she would be super happy for me. But when i told her she initially wouldn't be, she admitted that she'd be jealous. I said of course, and that if she got hers before me i'd be mad as hell, and then i'd eventually be happy.

At least i'm honest.

So today was a long day. Up at 7, meet Dave at 8, get in TO at 10, physio from 10:30-12pm, Spiro at 1, then Dave had clinic at 2, got in at 3, came out at 4, we left at 4:30, got home at 7. The weather was shit and i feel cynical about it all, yet bizarrley happy and at peace with everything. Why? Why not? Maybe admitting my horrible selfish thoughts to someone, and having them reflected back, makes me feel less alien. Nobody wants to feel like an alien.

Despite the fact that my day was essentially blah, it was great. There was no rush for anything, it consisted of a lot of waiting, sitting, talking with other transplant/hospital cronies, catching up, it was great.

I am finally done Tobi. FINALLY! Somebody please shoot a cannon and rejoice with me. No more Tobi for a month - woo hoo! I'm still on cipro, i still feel like crap, yesterday i looked like i had jaundice in my eyes, but i'm happy.

So there.