An island of misfit toys

You know in that 1960's Christmas movie, Rudolph, when Rudolph and the elf (who wants to be a dentist) end up at The Island of Misfit Toys (where the broken and unwanted ones go)? That is very much how I felt today when I went to get my IV.

Usually, it's just me there in the back. Sometimes there's a girl (who's name I can't remember) or some little kids, and then nurses, and that's it. It's very quiet tho. Well today there were 3 other patients and their parents, and then nurses. It was a very busy day for them indeed. But as I looked around and registered what was wrong with all of us (we each have something different, but we all get IVs nonetheless), I realized that we are very much like The Island of Misfit Toys, medically and internally broken in some way, who have been sent to this place to be fixed and made functional again, all so we can go back out into the world for the next month until we have to return to be tweeked.

And as bizarre as it sounds, this is my reality and I am totally ok with it. I cannot for the life of me imagine anything but. What will happen post-tx if this is all taken away? Can i function? It's not a horrible thing really (to be cured), but mentally, to take something away from me that I've been doing my whole life.....? It's crazy to think of. I cannot fathom it, and yet, a small part can. And that small part is more afraid than excited. I dunno!

Anyways, my day was long. I had physio this morning then trekked over to the other hosp for my IV. I got there at 10:30 and they tried for an IV around 11. No luck. One poke, two poke, three poke, four, and it finally went in and worked. And then it leaked. Then the leak got fixed, and then it started leaking somewhere else, which left my arm a sticky wet mess, but overall I was fine with it. It was weird though, as I sat there reading, I coughed (as I do) and the guy beside me (the girls dad) said, "WHOA! That does not sound healthy!" *akward laugh*. I turned around and said, "Yeah! That's why I'm waiting for a LUNG TRANSPLANT!". It shut him the hell up. It's not that I was offended, b/c I wasn't, but for once instead of getting embarassed or saying, "I'm sick" i told the person up front and I could tell they felt bad. Which makes me feel great.

Anyways...

In total, my left arm got poked 3 times, and my right arm once (in the elbow). All blew and/or wouldn't thread through or got blocked b/c of scar tissue. Fun stuff. My left arm is very sore as you can imagine. I am going to try to somehow make this into an excuse to not do anything around the house....

In other news, I gained 2 lbs. I suspected this for a while, and it was proven true when i got weighed. It's not horrible and its not much, but I can definately see it. In my face. Maybe it's just the way my hair is today, that it just makes me look terrible and should make me realize to never wear my hair like this again. I dunno, but i could definately see those 2lbs sitting nicely in my jowels.

Oh, and you know how sometimes, some women do their makeup so bad that it's all you can stare at if you talk to them? I was definately that woman today too. My eyeliner looks like shit - absolute shit. it's so heavy that you could probably peel it off my eyelids; like I put it on in the dark or something. Oh well. I'm going to the movies tonight anyways with Jess so see The Unborn, so i'll probably scream half it off anyways. I havent' been to the movies in ever, and am a little scared to see how I will make it around the theatre, what with all the stairs and stuff...Hm...I guess i truely don't go enough to have considered this beforehand!

So yes, what happened today? I exercised, got stabbed four times, i gained 2lbs in my face, I stepped in a huge puddle of dog pee when I got home, and i look like a whore.

You?