A lesson in manners

People need to get a little fucken manners around here.

I am so sick and tired of people's blatent rudeness that it's forced me to come right out and bitch and moan to whomever is willing enough to lend me an ear, and eye, and a throat.

(btw this has nothing to do with any readers; it's every day, run-of-the-mill asshole's i'm bitching about).

To begin, I am short. I am roughly 5 feet tall. And apparently, being small is cause enough for people to be so astounded and astonished enough that God or whoever could create small people that they feel this incessant need to come right up to me and point it out. As if i don't fucking know this already!

Aside from being asked why i'm short, how 'tall' i am, if everyone else in my family is as short as me, or if i suffer from some horrible condition that renders me short (b/c being short is so horrible you know, god forbid anyone else become short during their time on Earth), or i'm i'm a midget (midgets are under 4 feet tall)it starts to become a little old.

For the most part, I let these comments roll off my shoulders and fake laugh with people when they think they're being brilliant for making me momentarily uncomfortable and horribly self-conscious as they make fun of my shortness in front of a group of people, but when people keep going and going on and on about it, it makes me begin to wonder: who's really uncomfortable with my shortness? Is it me, or is it you??

Today at my nana and papa's 60th wedding anniversary, countless people teased me about my height, and then some random old guy walked right up to me and asked as loud as possible, "why are you so short?"

Correct me if i'm wrong, but if i asked him why he is so fucking old and when did he hatch, that would be rude, wouldn't it? If i asked the 300lbs woman sitting on 2 chairs why it is that she's so fat, that would be rude?? So why is it that people feel so compelled to come up to short individuals and ask us why we're so short and if there's some horrible cause for it, that I'm the one being petty and too self-conscious if I get a little pissed off about it? This breaches the lame excuse, "I'm just curious".

B.S.

Don't get me wrong, like i said for the most part i let it slide, but it comes to a point where you begin to wonder if there is something seriously wrong with the way you look and if it's actually that bad.

So, you want a reason for why i'm short? Simply the fact that i have no structural reason for it, and that i wasn't meant to be any bigger than I am won't suffice? Ok, here it is:

I was born under a maple tree. Everyone knows that maple trees have sporous sap, and when that sap is ingested or inhaled by a newborn after birth, it stunts their growth and they never grow to be any taller than 5'. Had my mother given birth to me in a hospital setting and not under a maple tree (she went into labour with me during a picnic you know), i would have been spared such a horrible fate of shortness.

So take that for your explanation and eat it.