Everyday is a winding road

The topic title is completely irrelevent to anything that has to do with blogging today - I just hope i put that Sheryl Crow song in your head...forever and ever and ever and ever.

And ever.

It has officially been one week since McIntern's sudden departure from TGH. While I am still crushed and slightly squashed on the inside, the pain in my heart is dissipating and I find that I no longer yearn to see him when i am finished my exercises. That's not to mean I don't secretly hope that he'll pop in and have a boo at me but in all honesty....i guess it's ok and I will survive.

I have been given the go-ahead to go back to rehab where I was before TGH since my thrice weekly rehab excersions at TGH are almost up! You need to do rehab 3 times a week for the FIRST month of being listed at TGH, then, once you've completed a month, you can transfer two days to any local rehab facility of your choice. The best and most obvious one is the place I went to prior to this. Actually, many people from my area who go to TGH are transfering themselves to the same rehab place I'm going to so it's nice.

I cannot beleive I have been listed for almost a month! April 29th, right? Wow.

Lastnight I had 4 dreams. In 2 of them I got 'the call' and it was like i went through every motion and every emotion of getting it. I had 3 dreams that I made cupcakes that were so good that I ate the paper wrapping that they came in too. I can't remember what the 4th dream was about but I know I had it - maybe it had something to do with cupcakes?

I had my tx clinic appt on Weds. They told me to start Cipro so I have. Talk about horse pills, i gagged on the first one I took. It tasted awful and quite frankly I was a little offended by it's taste. So now I am on 4 antibitics: Septra, Zithro, TOBI, and Cipro, and I'm STILL coughing up lots of crap and i'm STILL in some weird form of pain when i inhale sharply. I found rehab difficult lately as I can honestly say now that I am feeling the effects of my crappy lungs. While I don't want to say "this is it" for them, (it's clearly not) but i can definately feel the effects of the disease as it progresses. I took 4 breaks over the course of my 20 minutes on the bike yesterday...i found it really hard to get through. Walking to and from the bus stop was terrible as well, and walking from a to b now is getting more and more difficult.

It's pointless to complain about this b/c I can't change it, and no amount of antibitics will make it go away. I have no choice but to marvel at the human body as it faces destruction at the hands of disease.