Awake and Mistakes

I made a huge mistake tonight: I watched that movie Awake. You know the one about anasthesia awarness? Yeah - that one. Huuuuuuuuuuge mistake on my part. While I know that this movie doesn't represent reality and the vast majority of surgies, the fact that the patient was going in for a heart transplant and was awake as they cut him open, cracked his sternum, and took out his heart, is a little concerning to me. My biggest reason is the fact that I have nights when I can't sleep - even when I take meds. What would happen if I get my tx and I'm awake for the whole bloody thing? I am going to order them to drug me up. This sucks. I'm terrified now. Oh well. Ugh.

I had some rehab assessments today and then went to the other hosp for my IV. I'm exhausted.

Before I go I am asking for prayers for two people: One for Pepe(Gina) who is in dire state in a hospital in the states (I follow her blog and have spoken to her a couple of times). She is deteriortating but is too sick to get listed for lungs - she needs to get better to be listed. If you could pray that things look up for her, it would be appreciated. She's been fighting this forever; it's just not fair. She deserves a second chance. She deserves so much more than a second chance.

Second, my dear from Grant(Grantula). I havent spoken to him for a couple of days, but knew he's been having some issues with his stomach (he's got CF and it's common). Well I read he has cancer and has to have surgery to remove it. I'm assuming it's in it's early stages which is why it's able to be removed, but if you could say a prayer for him that this is all it is, and that he recovers, not only would he appreciate it, but I would too.

That's all. I hope the world isn't falling apart. It breaks me up to think that people go through shit....and still go through more. I don't get it.